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Potentials Development Blog...
Monster.com Founder’s Advice on Biz and Life
Recently I attended an electric talk given by Jeff Taylor, founder of Monster.com. He spoke about his business successes and his philosophy of life. He boiled down his approach to achievement to four letters and lives by the acronym of FAME.
F = Free Agent (Think like one – get out of the box.)
A = Athlete (Train like one - work hard, be disciplined.)
M = Marketer (Be one - believe in your own ideas.)
E = Engage (Get on the dance floor - live and work like you mean it.)
Jeff Taylor is not a motivational speaker. He was not trying to pump up the crowd – although he did. He was not hawking anything other than selling the audience on life becoming more fun and compelling. It was obvious that he genuinely embodies every word of his FAME philosophy. His triumphs are legend and he has changed the way the world networks and builds careers. Monster.com is hugely successful and serves nearly 30 million visitors every month. Taylor is pushing onward and has launched other companies to serve the burgeoning Baby Boomer market such as Eons.com.
Jeff Taylor knows the power of engagement - of believing in yourself and your ideas. Wishing you great success!
“I see you” is the greeting used by the alien race on Pandora in the spectacular movie Avatar. What a simple and yet profoundly moving phrase to share with another. How often do we really see who we are speaking to? I mean really see who the individual is and their value? It is an equally rare experience for someone to truly see who we are and our unique value.
In our busy lives we typically move so quickly through our days - trying to get things done - that we rarely focus deeply on the person with whom we are interacting. It is easy to become transaction-based instead of oriented toward building relationship.
Ultimately, the quality of our lives is directly related to the quality of our relationships. When people are faced with any sort of threat or tragedy such as a life threatening illness, an accident, being the victim of a crime, etc., they quickly identify what is most precious to them. Our loved-ones, friends and colleagues are irreplaceable in their meaning in our lives. Yet we don’t take the time to build skills to make us expert at being in relationship even though there is nothing more important.
Fortunately, emotional intelligence can be improved. “I (hope to) see you” at an upcoming Activate Your Genius seminar.
Dude is full of life, unassuming, open-hearted, completely present and engaged. Incredibly, Dude experiences ecstasy every day.
Dude, my friend’s huge black Labrador Retriever, is a great teacher who knows a lot about how to live life.
On our recent walk in the park, Dude was totally in the moment, fully living in the “now.” While we walked, he was completely devoted to the experience and clearly enjoyed the simple pleasure of being alive.
Dude did not experience boredom or judgment. No matter how many times we threw the ball for him to fetch, he was willing to go for it. He did not judge how well or poorly the ball was thrown and ran after it with equal gusto each time.
Dude was completely transparent - he did not need to play it cool. He was bursting with enthusiasm and love, and willing to show it. Full of boundless energy - he expressed his delight unabashedly.
Activate Your Genius: Real Results from the Real You provides strategies and experiences that help you to learn how to be more present in your life. Learning to be fully engaged, whether in professional or personal relationships, is critical to success. Invest two evenings and a weekend to significantly impact your success.
My commitment to myself for 2010 is to be more radiantly joyful - like Dude.
When I was in my early 20s I worked in a nursing home for a few years. There were more than 100 residents and the average age was 86 years old.
As I got to know each one of the residents, what really struck me was how very different people’s attitudes were about life. Even though they were well into their twilight years and suffering from a variety of infirmities – their outlooks varied vastly.
At 95 years old, Mrs. Wyle was bed-ridden but had a smile on her face whenever I came to see her. As I got to know her, I was touched by her life story. Even though she had experienced the sorrow of the death of her five children and outlived her many friends, she was grateful for a long and wonderful life.
It was a pleasure to walk into her room because her interest in connecting and communicating with me was so palpable. She was still living a meaningful life even though she was confined to her bed.
Mrs. Jones, on the other hand, was comparatively healthy and had two very attentive daughters who came to see her every day. They often ate lunch with her and made sure she was well groomed – a week never went by that they did not give her a fresh manicure.
However, when I asked her how she was, she focused on her life’s regrets. She often expressed with disappointment that she never had a son (“only two daughters”) and that she did not get to live in the city like she would have preferred; although she and her deceased husband had traveled extensively. There was very little space for Mrs. Jones to be in the “now” because her mind was littered with resentment and regret.
As a young person it was a great life lesson to see people in the final chapter of their lives. What became clear to me was that happiness might not have much to do with money, health or advantages. Certainly these things help, but they do not guarantee life satisfaction.
Courage to accept one’s life as it is and to focus on the gifts, as well as honoring the hardships seemed to be central to whether or not a person found peace. However, peace is not something you claim at the end of a well-lived life, but is something that occurs on a daily basis.
Ultimately, peace is a courageous choice that happens from living each moment to the best of your ability - knowing that perfection is impossible. At the end, authenticity, humanity and the ability to love - trump the illusion of “what might have been.”
Everyone Wants Improvement - But Nobody Wants to Change
We all want better health, more prosperity and better relationships - both personally and professionally. Yet we don’t strive to be our ideal weight - even if we have a health scare, invest or save our money, nor do we improve communication skills which would ensure greater success.
This seems foolish since most people sincerely desire positive improvement in their lives - yet don’t take the steps necessary to make it happen.
- At a recent party I sat with a person, diagnosed as pre-diabetic, who could not stay away from the dessert table.
- A friend whose relationship ended after he lied repeatedly was confused about how his behavior ensured the outcome. Instead of looking at his need for deception, he focused on the perceived faults of his girlfriend.
- A leader who was too busy to coach his employees and set expectations was continually disappointed that his staff underperformed and under-delivered.
- A corporate employee who lamented that she was always assigned to a bad team without seeing herself as a common denominator.
- People who are unhappy with their careers but afraid to change their path.
Our subconscious mind is invested in protecting us. It helps us create excuses that we actually believe - even in the face of evidence that clearly shows how much we are intimately involved in getting the results we have in our lives. It seems true that we are willing to live with the devil we know - instead of risking the unknown. Most people choose the familiar pain rather than risk new insights and behaviors that involve accountability and responsibility.
The great ancient historian, Thucydides, said, “The secret to happiness is freedom and the secret of freedom is courage.” And the reason is because it takes a lot of “courage” to really examine the unexamined life. It takes a lot of “courage” to truly make changes.
Both professionally and personally, you can make choices that ensure you will be indispensible. One truism spoken frequently by entrepreneurs and salespeople: “People do business with those they know, like and trust.” Business people in a tough market know delivering superior results secures their jobs and their customers. Vendors often have comparable products - your only advantage is the quality of your relationship.
The same applies in all areas of your life. The more direct, candid and trustworthy you are, the more your presence is valued - by your boss, your co-workers, your spouse or your friends.
Fortunately, transparency and genuineness are attributes that can be improved and enhanced. Few people take the time or put themselves in environments where they focus consciously on improving trust and authenticity. These harsh economic times demand that we improve our relationship skills to become and remain indispensible.The Activate Your Genius: Real Results from the Real You seminar will give you the tools and guidance necessary to excel.
Activate Your Genius: Real Results from the Real You will significantly propel you in these key areas. Invest one weekend and two evenings activating your Genius…it is there, and as a result, you will become indispensible to those around you!
Become indispensible. Insure your future, both professionally and personally. Give yourself the gift of improving your emotional intelligence so your relationships in all areas of your life can thrive.
Daniel Pink in his book, “A Whole New Mind” makes a case for the increasing demand for right-brain skills such as synthesis, design, and storytelling abilities over left-brain skills that involve sequential or logical tasks. His later graphic novel, “Johnny Bunko – The Last Career Guide You Will Ever Need” illustrates beautifully how a right brainer should approach their career. There are 6 lessons contained in the book.
Lesson #1: There is no plan.
Being able to embrace this concept requires that you have enough curiosity and self-awareness to be informed by your life. Many people do not take into account the feedback they get on a daily basis about what brings them joy and passion for their lives.
I heard Jim Stowers (American Century, Stowers Institute) speak some years ago and he made a big impression on me. He was very humble and quiet (not a very good speaker in the traditional sense) but was such an exceptional man that he was unforgettable. He lived lesson #1. Jim told a story about meeting a woman, Virginia, in whom he was exceptionally interested. He had graduated from the University of Missouri Medical School and Virginia was a nurse. She told him she could never marry a doctor because physician’s schedules were too challenging and disruptive to family life. Jim gave up medicine! They went on to have a very long and happy marriage. Somehow, he trusted his strong desire to marry her as the next right next thing even though he had put a great deal of time and energy into his medical training. And he trusted life to bring him other opportunities where he could make a meaningful contribution. He was open to possibilities even though he had no idea what new doors would potentially open for him. He was willing to live with uncertainty.
Most people would not have taken such a big risk. What Jim Stowers had was a great gut that he trusted. (He also had a great mind and was a compassionate human being.) The good news is that anyone with enough inspired curiosity and the right help can develop their gut and learn to hear it more clearly. The gut does not rely on linear logic but is logical in its own way.
That is the journey and opportunity - to discover the reasoning and the language of the gut and integrate it with the logic of the mind and empathy of the heart. Great leaders know there is always another step to take in their growth no matter how much they know or have accomplished. What is most exciting about continuing to develop emotional intelligence is that there is no cap on it. You can continually become more tuned in to yourself and to others. Capacity is developed by pushing the boundaries of where you are currently and consciously leaping into discovering the next step.
July’s Activate Your Genius seminar is being targeted for young adults who are headed for college this fall.
According to a study by the Department of Education, more than 30 percent of college students who drop out leave after the first year and almost 50 percent of them never graduate. How do you prepare your college-bound student for the new and unexpected experiences that college brings and ensure that your investment in his or her education is safe?
Before you send your teenager off to college, enroll him or her in the Activate Your Genius seminar today!
This experiential seminar will help your student learn how to make the best decisions for him or herself – every time!
Research shows that the gut is an extremely reliable source of information. Hearing your gut takes practice and experience.
In this workshop participants will learn how to access what their gut is trying to tell them through activities and exercises. This is not the typical classroom, participants learn by doing instead of sitting through a lecture.
Participants will learn to:
Have confidence in their ability to make sound choices that are right for them
“I have a quiz on Monday but really want to go to this party. What should I do?”
“How can I have fun without pushing the boundaries too far?”
Discover how to get the most from their college experience
“Do I study what I am good at, what I really love to do or what can get me a good job?”
“How can I know what I want to do? I am supposed to choose a major. How will I know if I am making the best choice?”
Make friends who appreciate their uniqueness
“How can I meet a few people who I can trust and really be myself around?”
Become a responsible adult living on their own
“How do I deal with leaving home and being responsible for myself?”
“What if I am homesick?”
“When I attended Activate Your Genius, the key issue I wanted to address was where to go to college. As a result of the seminar, I learned to trust myself and my instincts. I made a decision on the school that I believe is right for me.
I highly recommend participating in this seminar if you have concerns about your upcoming college experience. It is truly a gift and very uplifting to discover yourself and what you are capable of as a person.”
In Tribes, Seth Godin challenges people to become leaders in those areas of their lives that they care about. He believes if you have passion and a clear sense of mission, other people who have similar concerns will want to follow. After all, we are wired to be connected and groups need a focal point. He claims everyone is a leader. And you should not wait for the right job, with the right title in order to fully express your ideas. A key concept in his book is that leadership is not management, rather leadership is about creating changes that you believe in. This is worlds apart from how many companies are operating today.
Scarcity mentality in many businesses is rampant and innovation is a rare commodity. Most people are not focused on making changes they believe in, rather, they are concerned with survival, often with good reason. Keeping your head down and not becoming a target is the modus operandi of managers in corporations that are downsizing.
The human cost is enormous. Not only does fear rob you of creativity, it also increases stress to unhealthy levels. The workplace can become very mechanical- workers grinding out the same old products or services without inspiration or excitement.
What a catch-22. When we need leadership the most, there are few clear voices emerging from the chaos. Courage is the hallmark of a good leader; also the ability to express a vision and communicate passion. Expressing these attributes involves risk. What is often underestimated is the cost for not taking risks when self-respect or passion for a better idea is at stake. We are all hoping for a great leader to follow. Godin claims that the one we are waiting for could be ourselves.
Life is full of ironies. This new website, my seminars and the coaching work I do are all about discovering and leveraging the unique strengths of individuals, teams and organizations. It is genius that I am on the hunt to discover and I am usually successful.
I wrote two sample blog posts and sent them to colleagues for feedback. What I heard was that even though the posts were interesting and focused on salient topics, somehow my distinctive perspective was sorely missing.
Developing a public presence through my website brought with it a sense of exposure. This can be an excellent problem. People that were previously unaware of me and the work that I do have a better chance of finding me.
However, the thought of public vulnerability sent me back to being an immigrant kid who felt unsafe and who did not want to be noticed as different. It took me most of my life to discover that different can be a very good thing! What I know now is that two things are true - my uniqueness is my greatest strength and it is also what can make me feel the most vulnerable.
In life you can’t have it both ways. You can’t leverage your genius and play it safe at the same time. And what if transparency and authenticity are among the greatest personal powers?
"This seminar (Activate Your Genius) helped remove the barriers that kept me from living in the "now".
Olga Sliwa
Clinical Social Worker Boston, MA
"Professionally, I feel more comfortable speaking in groups and giving feedback to others. Personally, I am more able to set realistic limits and give my needs equal time. I am more more joyful and enthusiastic about things at home and at work."
Christopher Schultz
Director, Fortune 100 company
"The most significant take-away for me from my work with Lidia is the sensitivity I developed to the role of the leader in an organization like mine and the specific impacts that my actions, words, and example had on my group."
Dennis Bartkoski
Bank CFO Leawood, KS
"As a result of the Activate Your Genius seminar, I have discovered the difference between hearing what people say and truly listening to what is being said. This has resulted in higher productivity and a more cohesive team atmosphere."
Robin and Clay Lyon
Owners, Lyon Design and Construction Mission Hills, KS
"The Activate Your Genius seminar was a truly powerful weekend. The concepts and interactive exercises were enlightening and helpful, and we highly recommend it if you hope to positively impact your business and personal life."
Joe Meyer
VP, Fortune 100 company
"Lidia Young has been instrumental for me through her coaching both on a personal and team basis. Lidia is very insightful, creative, caring and able to put complex business situations in the context of how an individual executive can personally influence the right outcomes."
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