Will your life’s last chapter be a “must-read”?

When I was in my early 20s I worked in a nursing home for a few years. There were more than 100 residents and the average age was 86 years old.

As I got to know each one of the residents, what really struck me was how very different people’s attitudes were about life. Even though they were well into their twilight years and suffering from a variety of infirmities – their outlooks varied vastly.

At 95 years old, Mrs. Wyle was bed-ridden but had a smile on her face whenever I came to see her. As I got to know her, I was touched by her life story. Even though she had experienced the sorrow of the death of her five children and outlived her many friends, she was grateful for a long and wonderful life.

It was a pleasure to walk into her room because her interest in connecting and communicating with me was so palpable. She was still living a meaningful life even though she was confined to her bed.

Mrs. Jones, on the other hand, was comparatively healthy and had two very attentive daughters who came to see her every day. They often ate lunch with her and made sure she was well groomed – a week never went by that they did not give her a fresh manicure.

However, when I asked her how she was, she focused on her life’s regrets. She often expressed with disappointment that she never had a son (“only two daughters”) and that she did not get to live in the city like she would have preferred; although she and her deceased husband had traveled extensively. There was very little space for Mrs. Jones to be in the “now” because her mind was littered with resentment and regret.

As a young person it was a great life lesson to see people in the final chapter of their lives. What became clear to me was that happiness might not have much to do with money, health or advantages. Certainly these things help, but they do not guarantee life satisfaction.

Courage to accept one’s life as it is and to focus on the gifts, as well as honoring the hardships seemed to be central to whether or not a person found peace. However, peace is not something you claim at the end of a well-lived life, but is something that occurs on a daily basis.

Ultimately, peace is a courageous choice that happens from living each moment to the best of your ability - knowing that perfection is impossible. At the end, authenticity, humanity and the ability to love - trump the illusion of “what might have been.”

Posted by Lidia on 12/28/09

Comments...

1. I cannot wait to get to know you better. What I read from your website and testimonials, I believe your service enhances one’s personal and professional lives. However, if one wants to see and experience improvement, one must accept the necessary and needed change in one’s behavior.

   Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  01/04  at  09:09 AM

2. Great post. Recently I’ve been transitioning through a phase of self-loathing, and this really broadened my life perspective and made me feel a hell of a lot better about myself. Thank you.

   Posted by (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  08/07  at  08:39 PM

3. Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us who are mostly worried with needless anxieties.This is a sort of reminder that life’s happiness cannot be measured with wealth but with how one perceive life at its simplest form.

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4. I am studying to be a Physician Assistant. I have been trying to find any articles about this health care plan that the government is proposing and i have found nothing about how it will effect the people in the health care industry. I guess my question is how will this bill effect the salaries of physicians, PAs, ect?

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